as i mentioned in a previous post, last weekend the “recruits,” or prospective students, descended on rice university’s english department. and i spent the weekend scoring as much free food as possible.
one such free-food opportunity was dinner at baker house* on saturday night — catered by patu, one of my favorite thai places in houston. so i’m standing around with my free glass of wine eating off a plate of free curry and free spring rolls when i notice one of the english professors chasing a speedy cockroach around the floor with a napkin. he’s attempting to be discreet, as we would not want to admit to the recruits that there are, in fact, bugs in houston and that among these bugs cockroaches are included. so i’m watching this prof miss the roach… and miss it again… and again… and i’m thinking wow that’s a speedy roach…
and then the roach climbed up my pant leg.
and not the outside of my pant leg.
the INSIDE of my pant leg. the INSIDE, people.
i hate bugs and particularly cockroaches with the fire of a thousand suns, and just the idea of a cockroach against my skin brings me close to death. but i am proud to say that i kept my composure. i did not scream. i did not vomit. i shook my leg as hard as i could without dislocating my hip joint. i estimate that the roach was up my pants for about 10 seconds. it was stubborn (they were, after all, nice pants.. and i had just shaved my legs…). those 10 seconds were the longest 10 seconds ever. even longer than a lord of the rings movie.
this prof thanked me profusely after the bug was out of my pants and smooshed for being so level-headed about the whole thing, because we wouldn’t want to expose the recruits to any horrors of the insect world, yatta yatta yatta.
of course, i ruined the whole facade by telling everyone at the party about my bug incident as soon as possible.
*at rice, the undergraduates are divided into colleges, not dorms, and administrating each is a master (or masters) — professors from the university who live in a residence next to the residence hall. two english professors are masters of baker college. all of this is very harry potter-esque. To read more about Rice’s similarities to Hogwarts, go here.