i might as well be tiger (golf ball lost in the) woods

i played my first round of golf on friday afternoon at hermann park. danny and i went out together, and we played best ball. which was a good idea because (1) if we had not done this we would probably still be on the course now, somewhere out in the trees, searching for my ball, and (2) my score would have reached triple digits. plus it made the entire experience much more enjoyable. i only got debilitatingly frustrated for a few holes somewhere in the middle, and i actually hit TWO good drives. i am a golf MASTER. and i looked quite stylish in my pink seersucker bermuda shorts.

like i told danny: what i lack in skill i make up in style.

the afternoon was only threatened by the appearance of a CRAZY at the end of the eighteenth hole, who was wandering around the clubhouse waving two large sticks he’d found somewhere, screaming obscenities at no one in particular, and digging in the oh-so-sanitary ashtray for the ends of strangers’ cigarettes. ahh, the joys of municipal golf courses.

notice that there is no water, tree, or even rogue squirrel near the ball. i was quite pleased with myself.

while danny was in houston we also got our engagement pictures retaken, which turned out to be a good idea. because this time, unlike our first go at this, the photographer actually remembered to pull the backdrop down completely before taking the next picture. but we’re pretty pleased with the way they turned out, so i’ll probably be sending our engagement announcement to the charlotte observer soon. which is funny, since we’ve already been engaged for over a year.

other than that, news is scarce. i will be forcing myself to work on my charlotte bronte presentation quite a bit in the next few days, since i’ll be leaving for scotland in two weeks. i plan on fashioning a few of those evasive yet surprisingly astute-sounding answers meant to confuse anyone in the audience who may have a question about my argument. i plan on using the words “discourse” and “displacement.” in ONE SENTENCE. that’ll show em.

to close, a list of wildlife found on a houston public golf course:

1. egrets
2. many many squirrels-o-no-fear
3. the monied, 40-year-old man who thinks women cannot drive golf carts
4. very large turtles
5. the swearing, smoking crazy
6. woodpeckers

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